My Questionable Singing Talent

I have always loved singing, though I don't believe it's the kind of singing that will let me even pass the audition stage at X Factor.

I can imagine Simon saying, after some minutes of watching me sing with an incredulous look on his face, "That was the most horrendous sound I'd ever heard, it was like a cat trying to outrun a chicken" or something like that.

Even the awareness that my voice isn't X Factor worthy doesn't make me stop singing. I sing when I'm happy, when I'm sad, when I'm bored, when I'm busy. I probably even sing in my sleep. I sing everywhere too, in the shower, the toilet, in class, my workplace, the streets... the list goes on.

The interesting thing is that I get unwilling audience, like the girls in the toilet stalls at work or the old lady at the bus-stop, complimenting me on my voice, "You sound great. You should go on X Factor". Yeah right! On the plus side, now I know why those delusional people go on these shows, screeching through a song and challenging judges who condemned their singing by saying, "People liked it."


I have to say, not everybody is on board. My live-in landlady normally comes to knock on the door and says apologetically, "Ummm... people are going to work in the morning, if you could whisper it," or just shut up (she doesn't say this part but it's definitely implied); and I would get all embarrassed and apologise, then do it again the next day, although in all fairness, I try to sing an octave lower. It's like a curse or, less dramatic, a habit that I can't shake off because I enjoy it so much.

Then I joined a choir and I found out what my flaws were, specifically. First, I don't sing loud enough, probably from years of being told to hush or trying to sing quietly without having someone come knock on my door or give me those heart-attack inducing looks.

Also, I was told I jumped from musical part to part. Even now after three weeks in the choir, I don't know what part I sing primarily, alto, soprano, tenor, it's all a blur. I sing whichever part comes out and it's a joke. I'm definite though that I don't sing bass; so, one down two to go. Woohoo!

One thing I'm happy about is that even though I have always known I am not the best singer, I now know what the problems are specifically and what I need to do to remedy these going forward. And, if I choose to have a singing career... hey, who knows?

Honestly, I still don't think I'd be able to pass the audition stage at the X Factor any time soon, but I anticipate singing better; so that even when I'm singing loudly in my room, my landlady would knock on my door and say with tears in her eyes when I open the door, "That's the most wonderful sound I've ever heard.... Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?"

Then I'd say, "Ewww... that's a pickup line", and start singing Aretha Franklin's 'Respect'.