Six Sure-Fire Ways to Be Happy

Everyone wants to be happy! Everyone! However, it gets increasingly difficult to be happy, there is bad news assaulting you left, right, and centre; and situations and people around you bring unnecessary drama that make you wish you were still asleep and oblivious.

As I've grown older (I'm no spring chicken - I like to imagine that my grey hair game is coming on strong, I can't walk or run as fast as I used to, I have need of a walking stick now and then... I have to say though, in the spirit of full disclosure, that the walking stick is largely used as a prop to entertain the young urns), I've become more aware of the need to maintain my happiness, to not let external situations unnecessarily influence my joy, or, at the very least, my happiness. The steps I have taken to maintain my happiness have worked so many times that I think you'll benefit from it.

Here goes:

1. Remember Your Favourite Things: Maria was definitely on to something when she sang about remembering her favourite things. Whiskers on kittens, bright copper kettles and schnitzel (I don't even know what this is*) with noodles are things that I am sceptical will soothe the pain of dog bites and bee stings, and chase the blues away (sorry Maria); but give me great sermons, music and TV Shows and my grin threatens to disfigure my face.

2. Cut Off Negative People: That 'friend' whose calls get you down in the dumps everytime because he or she is putting you down; that one who wants to bring unnecessary drama into your life, just because they think they are irreplaceable. I don't care who they are, cut them off. It might seem harsh, but it is necessary, believe me. You don't have to be friends with everybody. If they are necessary evils that you absolutely have to be around, limit your contact with them. There is such a thing as burning bridges that have become a roadblock for you. If they are bringing unwanted tension and drama, do the right thing - say goodbye for your happiness.

3. Don't Worry about Others' Opinions: Admittedly, this is difficult. We seem to be programmed to care about what people think about us - how we look, our careers, the decisions we make. But, you will need to practise not caring, because no matter what you do, everyone will have an opinion - good or bad. In other words, you cannot silence opinions by trying to conform to them. One of those guilty-pleasure expressions that I like is the one that opinions are like assholes, everyone has one (Dad, that word means holes that donkeys possess... or something like that). I am at a point in my life where only very few people's opinions matter to me, and you should too if you want to be happy.

4. Get out!: Literally! Don't sit at home moping around. Get some  fresh air, stroll around your neighbourhood, get a hobby, visit friends, or just jump into the back of a random truck like this guy (just make sure you've packed your bag - and some money - if said truck is headed out of town).

5. Never Compare Yourself to Others: Have (selective) tunnel vision when it comes to achieving your dreams and living your life. The greatest mistake and the easiest route to head-splitting headaches is comparing your life to others. It's like Barney, from Barney and Friends, says, 'you're important... you're the only one like you... oh, you are special...!"

6. Speak to Someone: That's right! Let it out. When you're going through something, don't bottle it up inside until you break down or transfer your aggression to the greying, walking-stick-using slow-walker and runner (coincidentally called Elizabeth) who's just trying to find a random truck bed to land on.  When you're down in the dumps, call a friend, call family, talk a passer-by's ears off (try not to get arrested on this one),  speak to God in prayers.

*Shnitzel, Google tells me, is a thin slice of veal or any other light meat that is fried after being coated in breadcrumbs (I doubt that I would eat this with noodles; so, still not going to make the list of my favourite things).