Date Night for Busy Parents

If I had a pound for the number of times a couple has told me about how their date-night life died after having kids, I'll be a... well, what do you call someone with tens of pounds, but not (by a very long shot, I have to admit) quite a thousand or a million? A tennaire? A multi-tennaire?

Any way, while I leave you to figure that term out, I know there are lots of couples, especially with younger children, who think that date night or any quality time together as a couple dies after they have children.

The reasons are numerous and extremely valid: where do you find the child care you need to go out together, without parting with a relatively huge sum? With the norm being that relatives and friends don't always live close by, how do you find trusted people to watch your kids? And, if you do find these trusted people, how often can you do this without feeling like it's a burden on them? And, how about that separation anxiety you get when your wee ones are away from you for too long?

For whatever reasons, we relegate spending quality time as a couple to the background while we focus on the task of child-nurturing.

We think we'd have to wait till the kids become teens to reclaim our couple time - aka quality time dedicated to just the two of you.

It does not have to be that way, though. And this is probably something other people have discovered as well, but I found we could have date night at home.

This might not work for you if your idea of date night or even date day (I'm not judging, if the day works for you - maybe when the kids are in school or when they take a nap, depending on their age(s)) has to be an outdoor affair - fancy-restaurant type or even trip to Paris by private jet.

But, if the plan is to just spend quality time as a couple, apart from the kids, then this might work. Date night works best for me, at least, because the plan is to spend that time together when the kids are asleep and when we're decompressing from a busy day. It also has to be intentional and planned, so it's something to look forward to.

When the kid(s) go to sleep, why don't you have that date night - just the two of you watching a movie, a show, or just talking? It could be just on weekends, or every single day. Do you, boo!
Tailor it however it suits you.

The goal is just to reclaim your time to bond as a couple, because you were that once before the children came around. At the core, your family is still that; and, when you become empty-nesters, you'll need that bond to thrive.