Another Birthday! Sarcastic Yay.

I have always been ambivalent about my birthdays. No, that's not correct; let me rephrase that... I started to become ambivalent when I discovered birthdays weren't just the one day in the year when dad gave us money to splurge big-time on chocolates, pasties and other goodies. That would mean my ambivalence started at about the age of 16 (What can I say? I'm a late bloomer).

Anyway, since then, my birthdays have been days I look forward to on one hand, and wish were non-existent, on the other hand.

I think the best way to show this ambivalence would be to highlight four major things I like about birthdays and another four I dislike about them. And, believe me, nothing spells ambivalence more  than the same items appearing in both segments; so, here goes:

The Likes:

1.  A Landmark: Birthdays are landmarks. They mark the end of a year and the beginning of a new one. It's definitely a time to take stock and then move on.

2. Corny Birthday Phrases: Yeah, you know the 'Send my slice of the birthday cake', 'Where's the party at?', 'Who's taking you out?', 'You don old o', 'Jungle don mature', et cetera. As recycled as these phrases are, it's somehow great to know I am on the receiving end of all of that for JUST ONE DAY in a year.

3. Contact from 'Friends' I Haven't Been in Touch with for Months (12 Months to Be Exact): Birthdays are days when many people suddenly remember you exist. It is kind of nice when passive or semi-active  'friends' become active for just one day.

4. The Gifts: This is not just material gifts (though I have to say that giant teddy bear I requested is still important *wink*), it's the prayers, the wishes, the texts, the calls (even the missed ones, aka 'flashing'), the Facebook messages and posts, et cetera.

The Dislikes:

1. The Pressure to Celebrate: There is definitely pressure to celebrate birthdays. Sometimes I just want to stay home and celebrate by having a quiet uneventful time, but staying home alone is somehow considered an anomaly.

I feel compelled to get the cake, the birthday rice and meat, the party hats, the painting the town red, the confetti girls, the limousine, the white horse, the unicorn... okay, I think I'm beginning to talk about a different ceremony now. Let's go to number two.

2. Those Corny Birthday Phrases: Yep, I do have a love/hate relationship with this one. Even though I use them myself and appreciate that they are used as fillers, they do get old sometimes, don't they?

3.  Contact from 'Friends' I Haven't Been in Touch with in Months: This is another one of those ones I love and hate.   Sometimes I think I'd rather have these fair-birthday friends (Get it? Fair-weather, fair-birthday?) either contact me  at least one other time in the year or just not even contact me at all.

4. Friends Forgetting My Birthday: Yeah, I mean even with Facebook reminders and all, some people that I would count as friends still somehow forget my birthday, there are others who wish me happy birthday a day before the date or even a month later without acknowledging or maybe not even realising their error. Seriously?

At the end of the day, I'll still have birthdays whether I want them or not; so, happy birthday to me, where's the party at?

About A Competition and A Winner

Watching Candice Glover win on American Idol brought tears to my eyes. Well, most things bring tears to my eyes these days, usually for a variety of reasons. In this case, it was an inspirational reason, a hurrah to sticking it out.

For those of you who don't watch American Idol, Candice was just named the 12th winner of the competition, and the first female winner in about 6 years.

However, that is not the crux of this post. She had auditioned for the show twice in the past, 2009 and 2011, but had not made even the top 30 spot both times. In spite of popular opinion and personal misgivings, as you can imagine, she auditioned again this year and the rest is history (I feel I must add, 'as they say').

Well, if you haven't already guessed what direction this story is taking, here's an extensive break down. Most times, we go through a lot of setbacks in achieving our dreams. There are times when it seems all our best efforts lead to failure. Like Candice, we audition, attend interviews, get contacts, send manuscripts, change our appearance, modify our behaviours, take lessons, attend seminars... the list is endless, but we never quite make the cut. It's easy to give up, to go with the flow, to have a constant fear of failure when even the thought comes up to try again.

Candice's is certainly not the only story of persistence triumphing after repeated failure; from Albert Einstein to people in our families and neighbourhood, stories abound of trying again and again until dreams were realised.

The reason, I think, why we give up is because we find it difficult to compare our circumstances with other's who have triumphed, which could be a good thing on certain levels. It is easy to believe when we face set backs that our situation is unique, and in all fairness it is, to us. I, myself, have been in situations where people asked me, trying to encourage me, to think about others who had been through similar circumstances. Several times, what I have said, at least in my mind, was, "Ding it! I don't care what others go through, all I care about is what I am going through".

So, this is a lesson for me as well. At least this justifies my tears while watching the show (I hope). It certainly won't be easy to persist; you might have close friends and family and yours truly, the mind, say 'Give it up already, you don't want to keep embarrassing yourself'.

Again, I say persist - try again and again and again and again and again... and (okay that's enough agains for now, you get the message). I should hasten to add that this trying again should not be mindless no-improvement trying again like the kind defined as insanity. It should be the persistence of someone who has used each setback to hone their craft, to perfect their skills, so that they are in a better position to succeed than they were previous times.


This season might not be your season, but the next season just might!